The MS Runner

There is a magazine that just came out with a “bucket list” for runners.  Included were some pretty impressive running events and triathlons like The Boston Marathon, Leadville 100K Run, and so on.  Well I’m doing the opposite and doing the “f***” It List.  Things that I do not want to do (unless I was under duress or drunk)

1) Pikes Peak Marathon - Are you kidding me?  Run up the mountain, and then as a reward, you get to run back down.  No thanks

2)Any Ultra Marathon -  I have a hard enough time doing a regular marathon.

3) Runnin’ of the Green - Denver - this run sucks.  Any schlub can get to the front and block everybody from going around him.  Don’t get me started on the whole stroller issue.  The only thing good about it is the beer afterwords.  It’s an endless supply of Killians.  So I think next year, I will be volunteering at the Runners Roost exhibit just so I can still partake in the afterglow that is beer.

4) An Ironman Triathlon - I’d like to do a tri, but I’ll settle for those little ones that they have.  Run a 5K, bike 5 miles, swim 40 or 50 feet.

5) Run any marathon in a costume - Unless your entered in the Dress up like Elvis Marathon, just wear running clothes.

6) Any trail run longer than a 10K - trail runs were developed by people that have been legally declared incompetent.

7) Enter in a “woman’s run”  There are certain races that are designed just for women like The Zooma Half Marathon, or the Nike San Fransisco Marathon that guys can enter, but really, don’t be a dick.

Wear running tights.  The only way I will do that is if I wear regular shorts over the tights.  I like the compression, but I don’t like showing off Mr. Winke.

9) Wear Croc’s.  Never.

10) Pay $1,000 for a bike.  Some of these guys that do tri’s, pay $1,000 or more for a freaking bicycle.  I won’t even pay $500.  I’ll take my $79 Huffy special.

That’s all I can think of for now.  What are yours?

The first big race in Denver every year is The Runnin’ of The Green in downtown.  It is a 7K and they tout it as being the largest 7K in the country.  It might be the only one for all I know.  The biggest problem with this race is that it’s on Sunday, which is the day after almost everyone parties for St. Patrick’s Day.  So for me anyways, I wasn’t expecting a great time or anything, just a chance to run a race and see where I stand with my training.  There were over 4,000 people in this race, and I think all the slow ones were ahead of me at the start line.  I hate that.  There were even walkers ahead of me.  I think next year I’m going to put on my singlet, strut to the front, and pretend I’m an elite runner.  By the way, why is it that no matter what the weather, the elite runners wear a singlet (tank top)?  There were also strollers and a few dogs.  This is way too big of a race I think to have strollers and dogs.  It’s bad enough that I’m trying to run around the slow pokes, but I have to be careful that I don’t run into little Dakota in her stroller wearing stupid green St Paddy’s Day sunglasses, and a tee shirt that says, Burp Me, I’m Irish.

Otherwise, the race went well, and I did about what I thought I would.  I ran it in 33:47, which is a 7:47 pace.  Out of 4,266 total runners, I came in 557th.  Not too bad.  At least by the time I finished, there weren’t too many people yet in the beer line.