There are not many people that I know well, that know I have MS, and of course they don’t know I have this blog. I’m not sure why that is. I’m not ashamed to say I have MS because it’s nothing to be ashamed about. But in the beginning when I said to people that I have MS, I could sense that they felt sorry for me and that I’ll probably be a cripple soon. That still could happen, but I just don’t want people to feel sorry for me. Come to think of it, my daughter doesn’t even know I have this blog. She knows I have MS, but not this. I need to fix that. I need also to share with people that I have this disease. I look at Ashley Kumlein who is running across the United States and shouting as loud as she can that her mother has MS and that she will raise money to help find a cure for it. I think there’s only a handful of people that I run with that know I have MS. And their first reaction is “oh, I’m so sorry”. I guess I just don’t want that, but what do I expect them to say? “Hang in there man. You could be hit by a bus tomorrow, so don’t worry about it”?
I still have that guilty feeling too that I am doing well and that others are not. The local chapter of MS has these get togethers all the time for people with MS, and I have absolutely no desire to go. I’ll get the feeling that they will look at me and say “what is HE doing here”? I’ve thought about going, and then walking in the room with a slight limp just to give me some street cred, but I know I would mess it up and limp on a different leg after awhile. I could say though that the MS jumps from one leg to another with no reason. I know, I’m just not right.